Forever People & The Hunger for Social Media

At what point do people become nothing more than just a picture on your Facebook timeline? That is a question I found myself asking a few nights ago as I scrolled through my newsfeed with nothing to do as I tried to get to sleep one evening. On the border of restlessness and sweet ignorant sleep I found myself staring at a few uploaded pictures some of my friends had uploaded innocently sharing their lives with the world. But truthfully I have to wonder if I can even call them my ‘friends’ at this point in my life as I haven’t spoken to or even thought about some of these people in more than a few years aside from this one newsfeed that I tend to check on the rare occasion I actually find my phone near me.

In a society that has made technology so readily available to everyone and information so easily distributed between individuals it comes as no surprise that privacy is one of the many things that has changed with the modern age into something quite different to what it used to be, a thing many still struggle to accept as the years go by and the governments struggle to push their feet further into the door of our own private lives. But staring at these pictures that my past acquaintances and various family members have shared on the many popular media sites that are available to use in today's times I have to wonder, what is privacy and how seriously do we take it?

You may think my two trains of thought are completely separate, but believe me as I contemplated going through the many pictures that were available to me through Facebook and Instagram and whatnot I slowly began to wonder if I wasn’t intruding just a bit into my acquaintances’ private lives with my perusing. After all despite my initial exposure to the picture, I was actively going further into this person’s life to see more of what they shared as I scrolled passively through their feed. In effect, I was ‘Facebook stalking’ these people I could barely call friends, whom I haven’t seen in forever, but still had access to their lives.

It makes me question a lot of things that we share on social media, pictures and life events with the people we’re supposedly close with, how much information are we comfortable with these acquaintances having as we live our lives in front of them?

Of course that’s one part of the argument, another part could be that people have evolved to require just a little less privacy as they integrate with the world so that they are able to feel a part of it. Because what are they, who are they, if they have no footprint in someone else’s life? It’s an interesting question to ponder, for me at least.

Still, what does it take for someone to be more than just a picture on your timeline? That’s a bit of a tough question. My brother had a nice explanation of what those types of people could be called though, Forever People. These people, whom despite being an occasional face on your timeline, also happen to be a constant feature in your daily lives. An interesting concept as you consider that this brings a bit of privacy back into your lives as this close knit group of people become something of a trusted network of individuals you wouldn’t mind living your life in front of. It creates a whole new layer of security as you chose to expose yourself to a certain level of risk on social media by sharing those photos and life events with only those people and as everyone knows the internet is a forever kind of place, so shouldn’t it be a place we’re only willing to share these things with forever kind of people?

Still most people in society these days wouldn’t be satisfied with that. The question of how one expands their social circle and meets new people comes into question and therefore that layer of protection becomes compromised. I think that’s where the rest of the acquaintances come in, the ones you almost remember, but not quite. The friends you had for a moment but then drifted away from. People are innately social creatures and because of this they feel the need to share their experiences beyond their close knit group of forever people and that’s where the growing number of interactions comes from and I think where the opening of the door that governments try to pry their feet into as they try to regulate the flow of such information.

But where do we draw the line?

Some would draw it by the government interference as the shoe steps too far inside our private lives, but by then hasn’t the door been left to open wider by our own social hunger for interaction with the world? Already we have gathered more acquaintances than we can count and forgotten what it is a Forever Person should feel like. We all become solo players out to better number one and watch the world burn around us as we do so, because quite frankly it’s not our problem. Meaningful connection has become lost in the face of over connectedness as people build long lists of expectations harvested from exposure to exaggerated newsfeeds and manipulated social media couple that with the unfortunately shrinking attention spans that comes with every generation you have a disastrous outcome waiting to be let loose on the world behind that door.

It’s a sad thing to wonder on, and all it took was glancing at my Facebook newsfeed and all these photos of the people I really should remember the names of without needing to look at the tags.

A Father in Society: Deadbeat or Dedicated?

As father’s day approaches we get a chance to step back and look at the mysterious figure that many are sadly not very fortunate enough to have with them. Be it through tragedy or plain down human stupidity, the reasons could be endless as to why so many are without them, but the simple fact remains that regardless of whether it was through the natural way or the new-fangled test tube way, everybody everywhere has had the existence of someone they call father in their lives.

But what is a ‘father’?

In a study I recently came across I read how some low-income fathers who more often than not get labelled as the ‘deadbeat dads’ of society, actually spend as much on their children as parents in formal child-support arrangements. The only difference is, instead of cold hard cash given out at a set time these supposed ‘deadbeats’ choose to give goods like food and clothing and maybe the odd gift every now and then. I find this interesting if I had to consider everything from the perspective of a child.

When you’re young, money means next to nothing aside from being that one thing that can get you the cool stuff from the toy store or get you into the arcade. So I imagine it being pretty impersonal as a replacement for a father figure who could do so much by simply being there.

An old article I found highlighted the importance of having a father figure in a child’s life as it reduced delinquency amongst other things. In fact it went so far as to say that the father figure was most likely the most influential parental figure in the child’s life and I have to agree to a certain extent. Where one takes into account the need for a mother’s love and compassion, you cannot ignore the benefits of a father’s authority and command for respect as it shapes the child into whatever human it should grow into.

But in order to exert such influence doesn't it make sense that such a figure first needs to be present beyond the mere support of any financial means? After all respect isn't bought, it's earned through the many soccer games attended and school concerts watched and recorded. The lessons instilled through the formative years that one expects the basic human to have as a common courtesy alone are already the things 'someone' must have taught and re-taught a small child once upon a time. Of course the mother’s role is by no means diminished or marginalized in the grand scheme of things, instead one must understand the gravity of importance the father’s role incorporates as it stands supporting the mother's role and vice versa.

A father who gives money as a means for support or one who gives actual support, I wonder which is more acceptable?

In a society where demands for labour have become harsher and business tougher, it comes as no surprise that the traditional breadwinners of the household have been put under a certain amount of pressure. This pressure has in turn made it more difficult for our fathers to be fathers. It makes it questionable whether society cares for how it wants our little ones to turn out if it takes such an important part of their development and distances it.

Still, can the society be completely blamed for the individual’s flaws? Who knows, I suppose that’s up to the individual to decide or at the very least the children of said individual. Whatever the case may be one thing is clear: a father, regardless of his obligation to society, is someone whom is perceived by children by what they receive from them and as both the study and article show, it would seem that far more is received by the presence of that strong authoritative figure than just a few measly numbers in a bank account.

Expectation and Reality: The Advice Given to Teenagers

Life is just full of its beautiful contradictions, but ultimately that’s what we love about it. Take for example the youthful generation that we all love to bash every so now and then and how much they ‘don’t listen’ and can be the most rebellious little hormonal creatures that you ever came across and would have rather just bought a dog all those years ago.

Well in a recent article I read, a study was discussed about how, despite popular opinion, the troublemakers of society that make Instagram awkward to browse through may actually ‘listen’ far more than we give them credit for. The study, conducted by researchers from Weill Cornell Medical College, went on to test a selected group of teenagers and adults by completing a behavioural learning game.

 

Basically it had one adolescent listening to two different people, one from their own age group and then another from the adult group each of whom gave them advice and then it was up to the teenager to decide which person’s advice to follow and the results were very fascinating. 

Despite what is obviously expected by both society and the researchers, the teenager followed the advice of the older individual despite the advice being false [though they didn’t know it at the time] and this happened continuously in their research. How interesting, don’t you think?

This draws me to wonder on the many arguments people tend to have about our teenagers today and how they go off the reservation and do their own thing, is that really true? I mean think about it, aren’t we telling these young souls to go out and be who they want to be, make something of themselves and live how they want to live? 

So then, isn’t what we see the result of all that?

What if, and correct me if I’m wrong, our disappointment and dismay as we watch youngsters set themselves on fire for fun or go out and live recklessly because YOLO, what if all this is just because they do not represent what we have envisioned for them? Because let’s be real, we’ve all pictured what the future looks like and it would be a lie to say we don’t expect a certain breed of human to achieve that future. But sometimes expectation and reality don’t always blend very well and the results can be…well, disappointing.

Instead we’re left with a majority of young people more interested in immediate gains to satisfy their dwindling attention span while they expect to be let through the gate of adulthood, because of some strongly misplaced sense of entitlement. It’s a rough reality, but a reality none the less.

What’s worst is that reality is in part to be blamed on the elders that advised the wayward young. The examples they have left behind and the promises they have broken have left the scars that brand these young and shape them, so is it any surprise that they slowly grow to be the way they are?

So what could be a viable solution that exists to fix things before they break so badly that repair becomes nothing but an old man’s whispered dream? Maybe for one we could start by acknowledging the fact that those elders were once young and though their advice may sound great it may not always be right and though the young may still be naïve, they will one day be elders of another time and their advice may actually be worth some salt.

Counter-Bias Training

We are the sum of our experiences. Experiences gained through a lifetime of lessons learnt from various stimuli given to us by the environment within which we are raised. Of course there are some influential aspects that can shape that environment, such as the multitude of social media that has become integral to our everyday lives in this day and age of instant access to information and all that, but ultimately it all comes down to those experiences and how we take them in. How they shape us.

In a recent article I came across I learnt of an interesting study that attempted to erase gender and racial bias during sleep by using a ‘sleep teaching’ technique. A technique that could be referred to as ‘counter-bias training’ as it uses two distinct sounds to represent the two group biases. 

It’s interesting, that someone has finally gone and found something like this, a possible solution to help a society that has become too narrow-minded in its thinking. Yet, even as I think this I can’t help but question the fact that this is still messing with people’s brains. I highly doubt that everybody will be okay with that. 

Still, wouldn’t it be worth the risk- the chance to correct a lifetime of bias that has been unknowingly imposed upon you, by a society that prefers oranges to apples simply because it likes the smell better? I don’t know that sounds pretty tempting to me to be honest and let’s be honest we all have those biases in some form or another whether we know it or not.

We live in a world where we can’t help but be affected by the society we live in because, quite frankly, the society won’t let us live without acknowledging its existence. Like a starved artist, it must make its mark on us while it carves out bits of what will one day be our history. Wouldn’t it be awesome if that history could be changed by a few simple sounds heard while you were sleeping? 

I think it all sounds a bit too good to be true. But that’s probably the pessimist in me talking. The realist wants to give the scientist some time to figure out how far they could take this study, while also giving society a chance to take a long look at the fact that if all it takes is a few sounds to change your way of thinking, why can’t we all just get along?

CrashCarBurn - Pay Back The Money

When a country becomes so affected by the corruption of its leaders that it bleeds thickly into the heart of social media, one has to worry about what comes next.



It's interesting to see the reactions of the public when corruption becomes so blatant that no lie becomes acceptable. I reckon Mr Jacob Zuma never anticipated the size of the snowball that would roll on him when this problem first came to light.



A good lesson should come for the leaders of South Africa, that despite their desires, the people are not as stupid as they want them to be and will not stay as silent as they demand them to be. Not for long in any case.



Isn't it quite a catchy song though!